well i know this is common to everybody but i just don't know what to do. I am confused and scared and maybe i was being karma.
Ok! I used to tease my close friend, let's name her beth. I have a classmate who we used to hang with, let's name him Kyle. Beth hated Kyle so much and we don't know why. She just don't want to see his face and she get annoyed every time she sees him. So we used to tease them. there is a saying "the more you hate, the more you love". It's been months since we started teasing both of them. Actually, i am the mastermind or the head of the teasing idea. I have a great feeling that my close friend(beth) have been develop her feelings for kyle. As a friend, i know her very much.So i have a thought that she might have been developed. So we keep on teasing them. The guy, kyle , was just fine with the jokes that we made with them. He just laugh and don't get angry. We had a groupings for our final project on our major subject and it so happened that kyle was included in our group(beth is in our group as well). So my friends and i get excited because it would be fun if he is with us.You know teasing them...hahaha. Because of the project, we used to go home late.at night.
One night, it was just the 3 of us left in the school(me,christine and quenie) doing our project. Kyle has a partime job near in our school while beth need to attend a practice, that is why they both are not present. While going home, we decided to go to kyle's place to update him about our project. Upon entering the office i saw one of out classmate(Jeric). When he saw me, he directly laugh and showed me a conversation on the chat (kyle's account) made by kyle and robi. I forgot the exact words they used but it was all about me!...kyle was asking Robi(his chat mate and my close friend) for my number.and Robi some what asks him why he needed my number and texted "are you going to court her?.". I was speechless and shocked. When i looked at kyle, He didn't even get mad or show any reaction or denial. It seemed like he wanted to tell me that what i saw was true!. I was so shocked. I couldn't even say any words or reaction about it. I just kept quite and was so absent-minded. And i pretended that i don't believe it or i don't care about it. That it was just a joke(but of course it was not, i can see it in his eyes and actions). He really acts differently after i saw it. Upon going, it was the first time he said goodbye to me instead of saying "goodbye to all of you and take care". But he only mention my name "Goodbye cheska."(for the first time i saw him very serious).And because of that, i have proven that everything was true. And since then, my friends started teasing me with him but of course i always insist, and tease Beth and Kyle instead.
I really don't have any idea that he liked me. I kept on denying everything happened that night but every time he come near me, He made it obvious. I can't even look into his eyes anymore. I was so shy and embarrassed. I always asked myself "How did it started, when did it started?, why didn't i notice it before.!!? and why me?, why not Beth?"
One time he chatted me and confess his feelings(it was not direct..he didn't say that he like me but he said me misses me and cares about me..and some text that proves his feelings.). These things happened last semester.
Today, we are in second semester. We haven't talked for along time since last semester(that semester ended 2 weeks before the second). And i don't wanna talk to him anymore(i am shy). Since we haven't communicated with each other anymore, i thought that his feelings was gone already (and if that will happen, i would feel comfortable)but not, one time he and his friend(my classmate) saw me, they move towards me and he said("At last i saw her again.."). Of course, I got numbed and pretended that i didn't hear him. I acted like just before i've known that he liked me but his eyes distracts me so much. I can no longer look into his eyes anymore just like before because it show some meaning. And I heard from a friend that he was serious about his feelings for me and he might court me!!..oh no!!..
what should i do??...i mean he was good and friendly and nice. and every time he get near me...i don't know but i have a feeling that i was already attracted to him. but not that much..just a little. Right now, i merely talk to him(and i know he notice that), unlike before ,we used to talk and make some silly jokes.
Honestly, I really feel guilty of not talking to him. I can see his efforts trying to get near me, but i suddenly move away like pretending going to somewhere. During our class, he make some jokes(my classmates laugh but me, i just pretended i didn't hear him and i can see in his eyes that he was disappointed). What should i do?? if i am going to talk to him as before i am afraid he might ask me the question i am not ready to hear. I know he is finding the perfect time. But i am so guilty of not talking to him.
What should i do???
bouncy